---
title: "Flower Decapitation Protocol (FDP)"
created: "2025-09-07T20:41:36.471Z"
label: "RFC3"
author: "Morticia Addams"
status: "draft"
visibility: "public"
summary: null
image: null
tags:
  - "cost-concerns"
watchers:
  - "Thomas Hunter II"
reviewers:
  - user: "Thomas Hunter II"
    status: "reject"
links:
  - rfc: "RFC4"
    relation: "relates to"
---

# Purpose

The purpose of this protocol is to ensure the removal of extraneous floral appendages (commonly known as "blooms") from thorn-bearing stems. Heads are frivolous distractions: gaudy, colorful, desperate little cries for attention. By eliminating them, one preserves the true essence of the flower: its stem, its thorns, its eternal posture of suffering.

# Scope

## The protocol applies to:

* All roses grown within the Addams conservatory, graveyard plots, and suitably gloomy corners of the manor.
* Bouquets brought in by unsuspecting guests, swiftly and mercifully corrected.
* Seasonal arrangements that dare attempt to cheer the household.

## Excluded from scope:

* Carnivorous plants (they protest so vocally).
* Dead flowers, already perfect.

# Materials

* Precision shears, forged in iron and slightly rusted.
* A silver tray for collecting the decapitated blossoms.
* A solemn candle, to honor the occasion.

# Procedure

* Grasp the rose stem firmly, appreciating the sting of its thorns.
* Position shears just below the gaudy bloom.
* With one graceful motion, sever the head.
* Discard the blossom with elegant disdain
  * Preferably into a vase of stagnant water, where it may contemplate its swift mortality.
* Retain the stem, arranging it proudly in gothic vases, skeletal in beauty.

# Risks & Mitigations

* **Risk:** Neighbors may recoil in horror.
  * **Mitigation:** Delight in their discomfort.
* **Risk:** Blossoms may attempt symbolic “rebirth” in compost.
  * **Mitigation:** Burn them ceremonially under moonlight.

# Success Criteria

* Rows of pristine, headless stems stretching toward the ceiling like mourners in eternal grief.
* Absence of color, presence of sharpness.
* Atmosphere enhanced with subtle menace and quiet beauty.